Screams From The Heart

Looking into the sky begging God for a sign to set my heart free from the tormented thoughts that flow from my inner soul screaming for a reason to carry on the fights I know I cannot win.

My safety is secure right now but unset not knowing if my roof will disappear leaving me in the mists of the woods begging for death, my heart is full of love but can't be exposed for fear of rejection so I cry alone, so my future is unknown as I wake up everyday screaming silently to hear words "You are now home don't be scared I love you too and the future has the ending you have been dreaming of since the beginning of my journey.

The inner struggles push me to make others safe without thinking daily I cannot even keep myself safe but as the words enter my day and end in the night flash in my mind like lightening on a stormy night I pray tomorrow will be the day when all is calm like a cool summer night on a beautiful lake with only a breeze whispering by.

Your past is your present your present is your past but what you do with your future makes it all count.

As the signs are put in front of you waiting to open your eyes and see what you have been blind from not knowing that the screams you hear deep in the night could be silenced but not by death but life because you finally choose to see what was there all along and what is missing.

Change is the word for 2017 but as I look around I hear nothing, feel nothing and see purgatory before my eyes knowing that my screams can not and will not be heard.

Questioning life not knowing the struggle is becoming harder with every disappointment arising as I open my eyes each day with sadness knowing what I feel, what I know and what is the truth is buckled silently once again till the barrier is broken knowing when you look in my eyes the journey will always go on with such fight but not with disappointment anymore but with passion for finally being heard, respected, seen and loved for not the mask you wear hiding behind it.

As I look away from the sky looking around for a answer to my hearts desires I walk away with a tear falling down my face knowing I won't be heard and hope is quickly disappearing once again for the dreams of reality come crashing in with sadness that quietly whispers maybe tomorrow will be the day.

Magalina Masso

2-16-17 5:42 pm