Why God?

The battle was started so long ago and the blind knowledge of winning surrounds my mind with such fury I can not see the destruction of death before my eyes that has already been laid out on the road which I cannot see.
As I sit here with tears burning scars into my face I ask you God.
Why was I forsaken to a life of abuse and pain if the end result will only disappear like the soul leaving the body to never return ???
Sexually abused as a baby, beaten a a kid and raped as a adult I ask why was I chosen to carry this burden ???
I pray to you God and yet they all go unanswered again and again but I put my faith in you with fantasy's of a better life as I walk this rocky road.
I ask you God when will this nightmare end but there is no answer from you once again so I sit here and ask myself why ???
I realize this fight of my life is over and this battle cannot be won so I surrender to this war that has consumed my life for my time here is done.
The nightmares that wake me drenched in tears, shaking and screaming will have no more power in this world.
Will you answer my last prayer I send to you with a cry so loud begging for a solution to my pain or will the results be the same ???
As my eyes close slowly to a sleep of peacefulness you have the power to decide if they shall be opened one more time or  to end this war indefinitely.

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